I specialize in relationship dynamics

I am simulating that someone on the street would just simply ask me, what do I do for a living? And I'm in a corporate world. So I will respond to them, and this will serve for our copy text in our website, to see if my voice and my explanation is actually reflected within our website.

I specialize in relationship dynamics

So I specialize in relationship dynamics, everything what is related to individuals or even the partner's relationship in between each other, where often communication is a struggle. Most of the time, the issue is about communication, so there is where I come in, and I try to either translate what they are actually trying to tell, or I try to find ways to calmly, without falling into emotional states, to make sure that they can communicate together.

So for example, I would see either there is a conflict, so you have an individual with another individual, and there is a conflict because they believe different things, or because something happened and it is something emotionally, something that they took personally.

Solving the friction

There, of course, I would come in and I would help them to solve that. So basically solving the friction. Also, in that sense, I could train the manager or the department leaders on how to address this.

Hold space for a conflict

How are you going to hold space for a conflict within your company? While at the same time, how are you communicating about it? And can you remain neutral if there is a conflict, even though you know very well that there is an interest from your company on which direction you want to go.

So it's not about dissolving the balance of the direction that the company wants to go. It is about understanding the conflict on a human level. And this is often what is missing in the corporate, is we're so focused on our direction of where we want to go, that we miss out completely. Oh, we actually forget that we're dealing with humans.

Oppressed or not oppressed

And humans are emotional human beings, and even people who oppress their emotions are still emotionally at some point, meaning that they could at some point get triggered, even though they appear to be calm. But this calmness could be very much fake in the sense that they could appear calm, but they could appear very rigid in the way how they think.

So they close their mind. So it is sort of not an expressed tension, but it is a whole tension in their body, which is a whole tension in their behavior. And it, of course, can appear in, in any moment, in any meeting, in any situation, this could appear.

And then the person that could be in conflict with this person, well, might get triggered. And we would say, oh, the person that is being triggered and he's expressing himself more emotionally is the cause of the situation, but it's not always the case.

So in those situations where the manager or the CEO is not able to really see what is happening, the dynamic of the relationships, I can come in and help them to see. So what I differentiate myself with any other coach is mainly that I'm an expert in human relationship behavior and how it actually affects. And most experts are very strong in interdepartmental communication, nonviolent communication, and et cetera, which is basically reading a book and then pasting it and then just repeating a framework.

And there is where most corporate also very rigid is they absolutely want to follow a framework. But again, they don't understand, or they're not willing to understand that humans are working and are adapting their either the communication, their behaviors based on their emotional state, oppressed or not oppressed.

Oppressed means they will not show it. Not oppressed means they will constantly show it and take a lot of space.

Of course, we have a preference for the oppressed one because they look, they feel like as if they behave better, but it doesn't mean that the fire is there and it's not one source of conflict. Corporates love to have structure, right? Which is really helpful in their business.

But when it comes to relationship dynamics between humans, it is not helpful, even though when you say one department to another department, but if you forget that the patterns are composed by humans, you're missing out completely again this human aspect, which is their emotional world. And in the emotional world, bringing in structure is not helpful. Is actually the opposite. And this is where I am.

The sweet spot of equilibrium or symbiosis

Really good at, and that's where I consider myself an expert, is that I can go into that world, while not therefore dissolving completely the structure of the business, without therefore having to lose our direction, without therefore becoming inefficient. No, we're actually more efficient because we have the structure of the business.

We have a framework on how we work, however, we also have a space where we hold the emotional aspect, and not therefore falling into this, I don't know, new trend of overempathizing a worker, an employee, and then that employee becomes very inefficient for a company and actually becomes a cost. We have seen this many times, especially when, yeah, it comes up certain ideologies or political views or whatever.

The worker or the company says, okay, we want to include emotions. And then we have this very empathic way of, are we all going to listen, and we have to make sure that we make them feel good. But only focusing on making them feel good is also not just only helpful, because it is a balance in between what is feeling good and what is accountability to the individual, or whether accountability to the group or the CEO, or wherever it might be responsible, or the other person.

But also, what is the frame and a direction that we're still giving? So we're not dissolving completely direction, because this is where we see a lot of a lot of big companies actually struggle a lot with that. Because they want to be so vanguards and they want to be so upfront, then, you know, we are the new company, we are so taking care of our, employee, and we fear so much this new delusion that is purely emotion, because most of the new generation is emotionally based.

They were raised in a very comfortable world. They arrive, and they are pure emotions. Doesn't mean their emotion is not valid. It means that they need a certain structure anyway to direct. And there is where companies tend to fail. Either they are too close to the structure and too directional. Either they are too empathic, and there is where they feel to find this really sweet spot of equilibrium or symbiosis between both sides.

And that is where my expertise lands, as a relationship coach myself, for the last 6 years, and previously, of course, already being in the corporate world, especially NATO, where I also had to address conflicting situations of different departments of different people, wanting different objectives for the company or for themselves, where there was a huge conflict of interest. I, I still managed to bring everyone in.

So, my relationship expertise didn't start just 6 years ago. It started way before.

How business should be done

So, in terms of departments, we could think of, for example, a marketing department talking to an IT department, or finance department, or any other department that is very polarized.

Or legal department, where they basically have different views on life, on the world, or they have this different view on how business should be done. Like, for example, the legal department will say, yeah, but this is all about rules and rules and rules. While marketing is about our creativity, and let's see how we can touch and activate emotion of the person, while the legal is like, yeah, but this is not allowed, or that's not allowed, or this should not be happening.

And it's often very difficult for both departments of, let's say, opposites department in terms of how they see things, to understand each other. And there's sometimes tension happens.

The operational aspect

Of course, there's also the operational aspect where certain departments delays the other department and then the bottleneck sets in, but this is more on operational level. I also have some expertise in how to improve operations over there when it comes to communication between departments.

So, for example, how could the department efficiently improve their communication to another department so that they actually, um, yeah, get the job done in a way. And I'm not talking about which tool to use, because there's so plenty, there's many tools in the world. It doesn't matter. Whatever tool you have is, how do you communicate effectively in order for you to get what you want basically? And with respect, without therefore, firing up a conflict.

Because once you have the conflict between one department and the other one and pointing out, you do this and you're not doing that, and I need this and you need that, they were already in some way too far.

Where is your accountability on your side

But it's also, again, one of my expertise where I come in and I say, okay, this is your department. Where is your accountability on your side, and where is your responsibility on your side?

And where I get really strong at is becoming really precise at the level of where does it hold the line, where is this limit of what is yours and what is theirs? And there's where we often struggle because there's often overlap within the departments, especially when they work together. But there is always a meeting point where both sides meet into one spot, and in that spot is where we can separate accountability, and often, it is the way how we spoke, the way how we wrote an email, the way how we showed up.

The energy that we brought in

The energy that we brought in, the energy that you brought in when you say hello to someone. Companies don't like the terms of the energy of the people, right? They often shy away from all the spirituality, and they label it as something, you know, that doesn't concern them, but unfortunately, humans, again, are very much into emotions, and our spiritual being in whatever way they want.

It doesn't have to be there for religion, but there is a spiritual aspect in humans, which they love too, and they don't really want to give up on that, and they will just naturally not give up on this. But how are you dealing with that? When you have a certain personality that comes in that brings in a certain energy. Are you gonna hold that also accountable or not? And that is where company says, oh, yeah, but until that person hasn't really spoken wrongly or have shouted or whatever, we're not addressing it. Well, that's the point, is when you're not addressing it, you're just letting the fire be fire. You're maybe not taking care enough of that person, while if you want really harmony within all departments, those are the aspects that you want to be able to spot.

Bringing the CEO more into a state of feeling and intuition

So, of course, I can coach and train people to spot it and to feel it. It's basically bringing the CEO more into a state of feeling and intuition rather than just thinking. And that is also where I'm really strong at, is when a person, a CEO, a manager is completely disconnected from reality of their own business. So, they know their objective. They know they achieve what they need to achieve, but they are completely disconnected from the team. They know that things happen. Oh, this is what happened. That's what happened. Yeah, they are may probably informed by that. But still, they are completely disconnected. It's as if they don't have the presence enough into that space for the employee to feel listened, seen.

Active listening is a buildup of presence

And that is where also most of us, we would go on YouTube and go into, oh, we should be active listening. But you can do active listening and you can do active listening, mainly, basically what I'm saying is you know theoretically and practically, it looks like you're doing the same, but you're not doing the same. Because active listening is a buildup of presence. But how do you build a presence when your mind is constantly thinking about the objectives and what you have to achieve and your judgments? Oh, as a CEO, I'm judging this person. I'm a manager, I'm judging this person. So you're not being present, so basically, the person that wants to be seen and heard and understood is not being seen and understood. Just because the energetical aspect of being present is not there. And many companies just simply don't want to talk about it because it's too abstract for them. And I understand that.

Bringing this abstraction into a good translation

And that is, again, where my expertise come into the play where I can bring this abstraction, or this resistance from companies to understand that, into a good translation, so that they get it, and I can bring it into a practicality. I can prove to you where you might be missing an energy that is more adequate for this situation.

There is attention grabbers

For example, when are you using empathy and when are you overusing empathy? When are you using presence and when is it a time to disconnect and not being absorbed or being grabbed by attention grabbers, which often exists also in companies and in teams. There is attention grabbers. There is dramas, drama queens, drama kings, whatever you want to call them. There is the drama employee. And then you have the wanting, the achiever, not the one that always wants to have something to achieve, and he becomes blind, and doesn't see his colleagues, and he creates tension because he's too ambitious or whatever. And you're not spotting that. And then you don't really realize as a manager, as a CEO, that those different energies are actually either not compatible, either they don't have a good harmony. And that is the level where I'm really good at.

The CEO is not coachable

I can make a CEO understand that. I can make a CEO see that by example. I just have to spend some time with them, have a conversation with them, and then show it, and then say, this is exactly what I meant. And now from this, you shift this and you will achieve what you want, which is basically harmony and a good, beautiful relationship between departments or individuals. Of course, there is sometimes a constraint where the CEO himself is actually the cause of the trouble. And there, of course, I can reflect. I can mirror the CEO, I can show where he's failing, and of course, I can also choose and decide to say, the CEO is not coachable. The manager is not coachable, the head of the department is not coachable. And I would then report this to whoever has, um, hired me. If the board has hired me, I will say, this is what I see from the CEO. So you get sort of an honest feedback of what I see and where the issue lies.

More the relationship dynamics than on an operational level

And then from there on, either you can make your choices, if you need some more input, report from an external point of view, okay, what is this audit telling me in some way? It is more noted on... Yeah, more the relationship dynamics that is happening in the company than on an operational level. So basically, I would see it as, you have business coaches that are really good, they would be called business consultants, and they would come to your company and work a lot on the operational aspects, which is really good and is amazing. However, if you have those operations working very well, it does not mean that a relationship dynamic is working very well. And there is where companies constantly forget about it. It's like, oh, yeah, we have a structure in place, we have the operational aspect in space, but we completely forgot about the relationship dynamic, because at the end, the operations are held by humans most of the time, even though there is AI today and a lot of operations can just go on, which is amazing, but you still have, even if it's not 100 people in your team, you might have 2 or 3, and that is already enough in order to have a conflictual situation between different individuals or departments. Even though they are supported by... AI or whatever new technology that exists.

It is that I save your time

And that is where I would really differentiate myself. That is the biggest aspect I can bring, is to coach whoever is there, whoever needs it, on any level. If it's the CEO, the board, the manager, the head of departments, the employee, wherever it might be, or even the owner of the company. If that is needed. As long as there is a good intention of, in whatever position I am in the company, I want to solve this because it's something that I cannot see and I need someone outside to come and show me. Even though sometimes I might believe that I know what is the issue, and sometimes it is exactly, okay, I see this, I see that there's a conflict there, and I need to solve it. But what we sometimes don't see, we see the surface of the conflict, but we don't see where the roots are happening. And there is where, again, I'm extremely strong at. I can get to the root very fast. And other aspect that is when people hire me is I don't waste my time. I am not trying to extend time in order to inflate the time that I spend with you because it's something I just simply don't like. It's something that is part of my personality. That, for me, in my opinion, is a benefit for the one that hires me, because I just don't, I don't enjoy too much the feeling of wasting time around something that actually has an easy solution. And this is something I also apply in my private coaching. So it's not completely invented or just bought out of nowhere. It is something I've been applying in the last six, 6 years. The biggest service in reality that I'm selling, beyond everything what I just said before, it is that I save your time. That is basically what I do. That's what I'm really good at. That's why I spent 20 years of my life become an expert in this field, and that is what I give to my clients. It's not just the guidance. The guidance is one thing, but what I'm saving is their time. They don't need to spend five years of their life in order to see, oh, this is actually where I'm going. This is where I want to go. And this is exactly what is happening. I'm a time saver. So, it's almost like a guarantee that I will save you time because I will arrive. I will talk with some people. I will talk with you, and I will directly sense because that is my expertise. I can sense directly where is the friction happening, inner human relationship dynamic. Between departments or individuals and even then, it's again humans. I repeat myself on that. So, yeah, time saver. I am a big time saver. That was definitely a big one. If I arrive at a company, I'm not gonna extend myself in wasting time and pretending to do something to just inflate the bill. It's not something I enjoy. Not something I want, because I love to go to the source and fix it there. That is where all my reputation is built on. And that is it.